Monday 19 July 2010

The Flood

In the middle of a new project...

Whew, it's been rough to muster up whatever it takes to write something. Sometimes the flood of self-doubt comes rushing in a nothing feels good enough. My hermit tendencies kick in strong and I just want to hide or I feel like I've been so exposed that I need to retreat a while. It would be simple if I would then just chill, but it's the standards I set. It's the expectations I have of myself that I impose on others and then I think I failed them.

The mind is a tricky beautiful place. I'm working to break down my obligations into smaller bites. To stop believing that there are things ~ simple things that I can't do because for whatever reason I fear not doing them perfectly. I get so overwhelmed. Even with this...even with the flood, I feel better now than I ever have because I understand now. I understand when the anxiety comes and the fears get too big to handle, that I'm just trying too hard to be whatever it is I think I'm supposed to be. I understand now that I've just taken too big a bite and that I need to make things smaller. I understand that it's worth it to move forward because standing still would look very much the same. I understand that the flood will pass and yep, every little thing is gonna be alright :)

*love and gentle, understanding hugs* I'll get back when I can :)

Jen


4 comments:

  1. irie, irie, irie! It will be all right. Deep breath.
    Thanks for your feedback on my artwork. I needed that. It was important.
    And...Bob Marley...HA!I was just on stage last night with Ziggy...really! I just wrote up about it on my blog. Love the reggae...makes me chill!
    Take care:)

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  2. “ maybe offering something to the world is living what you would want to offer. maybe it's not any more than living it.
    and maybe that's the hardest thing of all....... ”
    ~terri st. cloud

    A quote that arrived in my inbox today from Bonesighs...I felt it deeply and when I read your post I thought maybe you would too.
    Be gentle with that Beautiful Self, and every little thing is gonna be alright. Love to you !

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  3. Wise and true, glad you have this marvellous capacity for learning and growing.

    Peace and love across oceans...

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  4. Some days I'm really bad at even thinking of what to say in comments - let alone blog posts! - but just wanted to say thanks for stopping by, and I hope that everything is OK.

    Love and purrs from Katie and the cats

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