In the middle of a new project...
Whew, it's been rough to muster up whatever it takes to write something. Sometimes the flood of self-doubt comes rushing in a nothing feels good enough. My hermit tendencies kick in strong and I just want to hide or I feel like I've been so exposed that I need to retreat a while. It would be simple if I would then just chill, but it's the standards I set. It's the expectations I have of myself that I impose on others and then I think I failed them.
The mind is a tricky beautiful place. I'm working to break down my obligations into smaller bites. To stop believing that there are things ~ simple things that I can't do because for whatever reason I fear not doing them perfectly. I get so overwhelmed. Even with this...even with the flood, I feel better now than I ever have because I understand now. I understand when the anxiety comes and the fears get too big to handle, that I'm just trying too hard to be whatever it is I think I'm supposed to be. I understand now that I've just taken too big a bite and that I need to make things smaller. I understand that it's worth it to move forward because standing still would look very much the same. I understand that the flood will pass and yep, every little thing is gonna be alright :)
*love and gentle, understanding hugs* I'll get back when I can :)