Saturday, 30 January 2010


I was doing a 365 self-portrait thing.
I forgot, lol.
I can't help but laugh...I love to.
It's like breathing...something else I love to do.
I'll start the 365 again 'cause I really wanna do it.
I'm in love.
I'm scared too.
Not sure what words the universe needs.
What actions?
How many tears before something happens?
If tears are required and I don't have time to cry.
I work, I keep going...caught between hope and despair.
Please, whatever powers that be, understand.
I've been told before that I'm too cool, too tough...I'm as fragile as any.
No need to try and break me...I'm broken.
I admit it. I'm just afraid...I don't like to hurt and I'm familiar enough to avoid it.
How can I want a job for my husband when more than 10% don't have one.
Why would my prayers be answered? I don't know if they qualify as prayers.
I don't know what to say. We need enough.
And Haiti.
Who am I to ask?
Who am I asking?
Will do a fun vid soon.
Always trying to balance what it means to be whole.
All of this is me...all is accurate.
I have humungous dreams (to me at least)
I fear they won't come true.
Fear I'll look back one day and remember what I wished for.
Fear...something else I can't afford.
It isn't easy right now.
Why do things leak and break all at the same time?


  1. You are not broken. You just this imperfect, scary, hard, magical, awesome, simple human life we live. It is all okay, in this moment. Come back to it when you can, because it really is okay, right now.
    How is this day, this very moment, like some of your humungous dreams ? If you find any similarities there, spend the day celebrating them !
    I send you big big love, Brave One..

  2. Big, giant, I appreciate you guys so much hugs!!!

    Kim, yes...right now is fine. I need to focus on right now.

  3. It's such a very fragile time right now with the economy, the planet's ecology, our emotions...all of it. Fear, I've come to find has protected me sometimes: from talking too loud, speaking too proud. Instead walk slowly, dream quietly and hope with all your heart...things will come around. Big hugs.

  4. Thanks shaun!

    T...((hugs back))...quietly dreaming :)